Mom Truth-The hardest part about parenting (for me, right now) is keeping my patience in check. I know that toddler brains are far from developed, that what is reasonable to us, isn’t to them. That repeating myself is never going to get the outcome I desire. That raising my voice to get them to listen not only doesn’t work, but leaves me with the heaviest amount of guilt. Before kids I honestly thought I was a patient person- now I realize this doesn’t come to me as easily as I once thought. Can anyone else relate??
In order to teach my kids patience, I need to show my kids patience. This is a skill I need to continue to work on and build in myself. My boys are strong willed and high energy. Sometimes it’s easy for me to say it’s them testing my patience. That the ease I have my days with Gloria is a breeze compared to the days I have with the boys.
But the truth is, I can’t put that on them. It’s not fair. It’s all on me. I cant control them- only how I react to them!
In order for them to learn patience and to show it, is by me doing the same. Children are truly amazing. They forgive easier than anyone and love you despite your flaws. It amazes me that after I’ve gotten mad and said “can’t you just listen and put away that toy” they still want to be around me. In the moments I feel frustrated and guilty from losing my patience, they still feel love.
I’m not a perfect mom! I’m far from it. But, I do know where I need to work. And, maybe, while I work on myself, my patience and being a better parent, I will teach my kids that no one is perfect. That perfection isn’t the goal. It’s impossible and exhausting. That making mistakes is part of life and what matters most is owning up to them and trying to improve. After all, being human, is having emotions. For better and worse. We all just need to learn to cope and deal with them better- not to eliminate them!
No person/ parent is perfect but we can all strive to be better- for their sake and for ours. Mom guilt is a term that is way too common now. We need to be better at giving ourselves grace. If even the parenting experts admit they mess up, how on earth can we not?? The goal should be to be better than yesterday, to accept we will make mistakes and show our kids that mistakes are part of life. To give yourself time and resources to improve. That life truly is a journey- becoming an adult doesn’t mean you all of a sudden have it all figured out. That kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and empathy are true life skills and qualities.
So to all the parents (and non parents) reading this- lets be better than yesterday! Lets allow our past to make us better- not bitter! And P.S. You’re doing a great job!